Well, it's Wednesday, so I guess I can finally come to terms with it.
Dallas lost. This is probably the best way I can describe the game:
Bird = Eli Manning
Cat = Tony Romo
(Hat tip I Can Has Cheezburger)
It had the makings of just an ugly game. The Giants, "led" by Eli Manning, had the hot hand. Instead of collapsing in the second half, they rallied and kicked ass. Well, everyone else kicked ass. Eli merely touched it.
Meanwhile, Yoko Romo made her first televised appearance at Texas Stadium. Things kind of went downhill after that. Terrell Owens hurt his ankle, Tony Romo let up and Jacques Reeves continued to be on the team.
Seriously, how is he still on the team? He was plucked off the Ravens' practice squad in the Before Romo years when Terence Newman was hurt and we were out of bodies to play cornerback. He'd be better served by standing 20 yards from the line of scrimmage and just handing the receiver a cup of Gatorade, so he doesn't get dehydrated on his long run to the end zone.
Well, Dallas managed (as usual recently) to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Throughout the game, it just felt like the Cowboys were one big play away — one long bomb to TO, one bruising MB3 run — from breaking the game open and taking control. Unfortunately, Patrick Crayton forgot how to catch, the offensive line forgot how to block and Romo forgot how to do what he's done best for the past year and a half — make something happen in the face of pressure.
I'm pretty sure this (could have) happened on that second-to-last drive, where Romo just lost it.
Troy Aikman: "Wow. That was just amazing. Romo had no pressure, but took an intentional grounding penalty anyway."
Joe Buck: "And as the Cowboys fail to convert the 4th down, we'll be right back after these messages from Peyton Manning."
*Phone rings: Aaaalll my exes live in Texas...*
Aikman: Oh no. Hang on, I have to take this.
Hello?
What? The fat man has tainted Romo? You want me to bring you the head of that yellow-haired huzzy? Look, Jerry, I've got to go on in 60 seconds.
You want me to do what? You do realize I retired seven years ago and I'm in the Hall of Fame? Remember what happened last time I was down there?
Jerry, I've got to go. Michael Irvin? I think he's doing lines of coke off Terry Bradshaw's head. I doubt he'd be able to play either.
Yes, yes, I know, yeehaw, you're fucking crazy.
*Closes phone*
Buck: Who was that?
Aikman: I can't remember. Who are you, again?
Next post: Dallas Cowboys' 2007 grades.
